Beauty Restored – Lori Campagn

Beauty Restored – Lori Campagna

Lori attended Living Waters as a participant in 2002 and has been a faithful member of the Living Waters leadership team for many years. She is a co-leader of the Walking Free for Women support group and an assistant coordinator for the Living Waters program in Troy.

“Heal the wounds but leave the scar,
a reminder of how beautiful You are...” Lori Campagna

Molestation, rape, physical and verbal abuse, threats of violence and divorce are my deepest wounds. My pattern of sin was seeking love and acceptance which I found in sexual relationships, drugs and partying. Sex, drugs and rock' n roll was my theme song. Promiscuity and emotional dependent relationships filled my need for love. I self-medicated to avoid my pain and escaped as often as possible into people, places, and things. I used whatever and whoever was available to me at the time, and people used me. I was never content or satisfied. I learned to be compulsive and obsessive in my behavior trying to control the underlying pain of my wounds that I pushed deep down within my heart.

Some of the effects of my brokenness were gender insecurity (being uncomfortable in my own skin) and the fear of rejection, both of which manifested itself in narcissism and relational idolatry (co-dependency). In the beginning I was full of myself and loved to be worshipped by men, but as time went on my drug addiction took control. I became dependent on the men who supplied my drugs and sex. My identity became enmeshed with them as I continued in self-indulgence.

My feelings of inadequacy, trying to be perfect, running from my pain and the need of performance-based approval were my driving forces. In the end I learned to isolate and check-out, spiraling deeper and deeper into depression. I continued falling into sexual sin living out of a victim mentality consumed by feelings of anger, betrayal, disappointment and self-hatred. This brought me to my knees and finally I cried out for help and called Reconciliation Ministries.

Through their Living Waters program I was able to identify the stumbling blocks of shame, fear, and unforgiveness of others and myself. I relinquished control and became vulnerable to receive teaching and prayer support from the Living Waters team, to surrender my sin at the cross and begin to receive the freedom Christ intended for me.

By embracing the pain of my wounds and addiction, the Lord has brought healing. God has taught me to face the pain and not run away from Him but to Him. In sharing my pain with the Lord and other safe people, I can pour out my heart with all my unmet needs and meet these legitimate needs in holy and pure ways.

Christ has brought healing by teaching me the difference between a head and heart knowledge of my Heavenly Father. Slowly, as I began to receive this truth and His love into the damaged places of my heart, God’s love became real to me. Only then was I able to lay down the destructive patterns in my life involving sexual and relational brokenness. The Lord has helped me to mourn the loss of broken relationships and the pain of my addiction. He has encouraged me with His love, grace and mercy to believe that He is my Healer and to realize that I am powerless to heal myself. I need God to get me through the pain and I must depend solely upon and the work of His Son Jesus; looking to his life, death and resurrection to live in wholeness and freedom.

Equally important for me to remember is that I am not an island! Staying connected to Him through the faithful believers in the body of Christ is crucial. As a single woman loneliness has been an area of struggle and growth. I must continually reject Satan's lies and my own fears and feelings of not being good enough by calling on the Lord and the body of Christ whenever I am tempted by the pain of loneliness, shame, rejection and self-hatred.

As I wait trusting God to meet my needs, with or without a husband, He is Faithful! I turn to my Lord and Savior. He has helped me to see the goodness and beauty inside of me as His Image Bearer. His truth gives me the strength to relinquish my ungodly sorrow, the confidence to face things head on, greater clarity of my gender identity and the knowledge that “I am good enough!” I know now the false self which was familiar and comfortable to me only brought pain, destruction and death. I reject this old life and embrace my true self in Christ. Today, I desire to heal and grow in the wholeness of Christ by continually seeking the depths of His love and freedom for me. His will and timing are perfect for me for He is truly a loving and faithful God!

If you would like more information about Reconciliation Ministries, or any of the ministries we offer, visit us on the Web at www.recmin.org, or call (586) 739-5114. You may also e-mail us at info@recmin.org. All correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Our office is located at 25410 Kelly Road, in Roseville, Michigan 48066.

Reconciliation Ministries is an affiliate ministry of Exodus International, and uses many of the programs written by Desert Stream Ministries.