This list was written by a father on our Healing Hearts e-mail list, and was used by permission. It contains practical helps that he has learned while processing through the emotions that he feels in relating to his son who is struggling with homosexuality. If you would like to join the Healing Hearts e-group, send a paragraph explaining why to dhitz@recmin.org. Membership information may be obtained from the same address.
1. Love our children unconditionally. For us, this means we don't judge one sin over another.
2. State the truth, but once it is stated, no need to keep hitting him with a rock. Our message is, "We think you can change with the power of Jesus Christ. I know you don't think you can, and we will respect your feelings, but we also expect you to respect ours.”
3. Love their new friend as Jesus would. This doesn't mean that we like the relationship. As my wife says, “I see his new friend as just that --his best friend. I don't want them to focus on our sex lives, so why should we focus on theirs.”
4. Pray, Pray and Pray. As we turn to God for strength, He gives us peace beyond our own understanding. Sometimes I have to do this daily, and sometimes hourly.
5. Read, Read, Read. I am reading on the topic and realizing that I don't know much about this.
6. Talk with others that have gone through this. The Healing Hearts e-group is great, and so is parents@exodus.to. A very good bulletin board with 50-100 messages a day.
7. Ignore the Pharisees in the church. I know it sounds bad, but most people in the church have been taught to condemn homosexuality and not love the person. I will never say, “Love the sinner, and hate the sin,” this just pushes those with same sex attraction away, but I will reach out to them like Jesus does – without condoning their sin.
8. Read the Bible. God talks about a lot about all sin, not just homosexuality.
9. Breathe... and live one day at a time. None of us know what tomorrow will bring.
10. Let go and let God. I just think if I can get this issue resolved life would be perfect, that is when I am realizing I am playing God.
If you would like more information about Reconciliation Ministries, or any of the ministries we offer, visit us on the Web at www.recmin.org, or call (586) 739-5114. You may also e-mail us at info@recmin.org. All correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.
Our office is located at 25410, in Roseville, Michigan 48066.
Reconciliation Ministries is an affiliate ministry of Exodus International, and uses many of the programs written by Desert Stream Ministries.
© Reconciliation Ministries 2006